One of the most important breakthroughs in overcoming social anxiety is realizing that you can’t wait until you’ve gotten rid of your imperfections before you connect. When we focus on our flaws, we tend to become cold and shutoff – and we know from research that this is the biggest cause of social struggles. The solution is to accept your (probably exaggerated) perceived imperfections, and then put your energy into being warm, authentic, and curious.
The question is not, how do I get rid of my flaws? The real question is:
“Will I be flawed and cold, or will I be flawed and friendly?”
We’ll talk about:
0:00 – Accept that we have imperfections
1:14 – The problem is the response to the flaw
2:17 – People like authenticity more than they dislike imperfections
2:47 – Will you be flawed & cold or flawed & friendly?
I’m Dr. Thomas Smithyman, a clinical psychologist making videos to help people overcome social anxiety.
My mission here is to use video to help people overcome social anxiety. Most people with social anxiety never seek help, and those who do usually wait 16 years! Treatment is effective but people don’t know about it. I’d like that to change, and I’d really appreciate any help.
QUESTION — Have a question about anything related to social anxiety? Post in the comments section of this video.
MY BOOK
…coming May 2022. Subscribe to my newsletter here to get an advance chapter from my book as soon it’s released. /
ONLINE THERAPY
I’m not currently accepting new patients for online therapy.
PODCASTS
📱 Subscribe and Listen to the Anxious in Austin Podcast HERE::
Apple: 6
Spotify: h
Subscribe to my channel Here: Q
PLEASE READ
If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call a local emergency telephone number or go immediately to the nearest emergency room.
